Police Believe Serial Killer On The Loose, After Man Seen Shaking Multiple People’s Hands

The Out And Abouter

Handsome man shaking hands for closing a good dealTORONTO – Local police are on the hunt for a man they believe may have shook as many as two dozen hands yesterday, in a brazen virus-transmitting spree with no clear motive. And they say they have reason to believe he may shake again.

“This man is armed, and two-handed,” said Officer Marjorie Wood, a Toronto police spokesperson. She was addressing reporters over a video livestream, taking the obvious basic precaution of not holding a news conference during the opening salvos of a global health crisis.

“And for reasons known only to himself, he appears to be wantonly turning himself into a potential virus super-carrier. With the widespread warnings that have been broadcast surrounding social distancing, we can only assume this man is a psycho killer. Quesque c’est, you ask? Someone whose actions are so cavalier they risk the health and lives of countless others.”

Toronto police aren’t the only…

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